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Ether Mind

2010 - Welcome to the Future!
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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Right Wing Critique of the Week - Jack Ketchum

Jack Ketchum's The Girl Next Door is the most horrifying movie ever made. At least, outside of Japan, and yet legal to watch in America. I mean, I like little girls in movies, like Hitgirl and... hmmm, Dakota Fanning is uncute and annoying... The one with Elle Fanning where she had OCD was pretty good. And my bff is into BDSM.

But combining little girls and BDSM, while it sounds good in principle, is cringe-inducing. Ever seen Tetsuo the Iron Man? That was popcorn material. Ever read The Hate Factory, a based on true events account of a prison riot? Yawn. At least the prison snitch died within a few hours. That's nothing.

Maybe I'm stretching here, because I've never seen Hostel, but usually when adults are gruesomely mutilated in a film, you think, "He probably voted for Obama so he deserves whatever he gets."

We almost turned the movie off before the climax, but it was in Blu-ray.

Now, there is a certain artistic argument for creating works that stimulate unpleasant emotion, and generally the more extreme the emotion generated, the more successful the art is. I prefer Monet and sword-fighting strippers myself, but those are sadly lacking in Hollywood. Note to studio execs- I have a scifi series to replace whatever Fox aborts this season. Hint- pressurized bubbles on the moon don't allow guns and don't require much clothing. If Summer Glau knows how to act yet, we can hire her.

Anyway, The Girl Next Door had plenty of "OOHHH!" but not enough enjoyment. I also felt that the last half was too heavy on the dungeon scenes and the plot wasn't as tightly woven as in the beginning. The foreshadowing was less stupid than in most movies, but the bluffs- where you expect something scary to happen but it doesn't- were pretty well done.

Other reviewers said that watching the movie made you a sex offender, but that it wasn't that graphic. Well, you don't see certain things, but I hardly think that horrified bystanders, flailing limbs and screaming are "not graphic."

So I don't really recommend the movie on the basis of its low entertainment value. At least the ending is ok.