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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Still Unemployed

Well, I found a job, but I went to Alaska for a week before my start date and spent 8 months in prison for a misdemeanor. There's a good chance I was guilty, but it doesn't really matter; they refused me bail and a speedy trial, so I would still be rotting there if I cared about my reputation.... I plead guilty after about 6 months. Every good anarchist should spend at least one stretch in prison for no legitimate reason.

That may not be a well-written explanation, but I shan't clarify.

So, obviously, I lost all my physical possessions and credit, except for my car and some clothes that my sister saved from my apartment after the police raid and before I was evicted. They seized all my computers in various states, but I should get most of them back.

Remember kids- if you're sitting in your home, using military grade encryption and erasure software to protect your tax records et cetera, the police can break in and call you a hacker any time they want. Sure, the "evidence" can't be used in trial- you haven't done anything that could justify a search. But it takes a year to go to trial. Some states allow you to post bail; others just laugh at you.

I've long had a set of rules for avoiding prison.

1) Don't break the law unnecessarily.
2) Don't leave physical evidence or witnesses that can make you look like anything less than a Sunday school teacher.
3) Don't talk to poor people.
4) Don't talk to repeat criminals or anyone who acts like trailer trash, even if they're not poor.
5) Never speak to anyone in a public place.
6) Don't have children.
7) Don't piss anyone off.
8) Never give the police probable cause for anything.
9) Never talk to the police.

You should also avoid living inside city limits and so forth, but really, the trick is to never attract the attention of anyone at all. I successfully did that by staying at home in front of a computer for 6 years, but I screwed up by being rude to some lady I've never met by not going out of my way to meet her. I'm not sure. Signing off.

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