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Friday, August 22, 2008

I need a job.

Anyone not hiring should not read this post.

I'm an entry level mechanical engineer seeking a job in Houston or Anchorage. My EIT certificate should be in the mail. It has been my dream since childhood (a year ago) to work for a MEP design company. I'd also do artificial intelligence, robotics (which I have experience building and programming), or design-build or perhaps something in the energy industry. At this point, I'd cheerfully make aerospace parts, boring and existentially useless though that may be.

I have an IQ high enough that it hasn't been measured, and I achieved enlightenment last year. My skills include, in a format totally inappropriate for any other venue of job-seeking,
*AutoCAD
*AutoLISP
*SolidWorks
*MatLab
*Assorted mathematics programs
*Programming Common Lisp, C++, Java, Javascript, XHTML & CSS, a few proprietary robotics languages, qbasic, DOS batch, etc.
*Artificial intelligence algorithms, particularly genetic algorithms
*MS Access
*MS Quickbooks
*Double entry bookkeeping
*the Critical Path Method
*lean thinking
*painstakingly decoding Japanese
*oral and written communication skills better than yours
*National Guard Petroleum Supply Specialist (until next month)
*Auto repair and stereo installation
*1100 chess rating
*assorted practical martial arts
*lifting heavy objects
*dogs love me

I've made ROVs, hovercraft, cartesian robot workspaces, wireframe polyhedrons and biological experimental apparati, genetic algorithms to automatically specify Rankine cycles and reheat stages for thorium salt reactors, GAs to evolve other GAs, Critical Path charts, BOMs, functional decompositions, CFD algorithms, web sites and a remix of Ice Ice baby.

My hobbies include reading the autobiographies of entrepreneurs and tycoons, rapping, writing fiction, manga-style drawing, enlightenment philosophy, and acquiring new skills only to abandon them as my interest flags. I'm a hard worker, but I follow lean principles. Ever noticed how people latch onto an idea and want to pursue it because it "needs to be done," regardless of the fact that limited resources must be allocated wisely? I don't do that. Zengineering.

For what it's worth, I'm better at everything than 99% of my graduating class.

My email address is maniac[deletethis part]provost[at]gmail[dot]com. Normally I'd use a more professional one, but let's maintain a pretense of anonymity.

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