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Ether Mind

2010 - Welcome to the Future!
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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Support Our Journalists- Bring Them Home Now!

by Ryan Shapiro, LWNG News/ Ether Media

Since the illegal invasion of Iraq by Resident Bush in March 2003, hundreds of American journalists have been sent overseas, against their better judgement, to cover this illegal war. CNN, C-Spin, Faux News, et al. have colluded to keep these brave men and women away from their families and in peril.

It is clear that this is a war that we cannot win, no matter how brave our journalists and their sources. The vicious right-wing news outlets and blogs have sabotaged our every attempt to report the truth as we see it. Lies only beget more lies, not consensus.

Daniel Pearl. Bob Woodruff. Ummm... that broad.

There have been too many casualties for nothing in this illegal war-for-rating.

I therefore call upon Les Moonves and the rest of the Illuminati to pull our reporters out of Iraq immediately in helicopters, referably under enemy fire. After all, they should leave that "God"-forsaken wasteland with some footage to show for their noble sacrifice.

This is Ryan Shapiro, speaking for those reporters who don't have a voice of their own. Perseverance.

Monday, January 30, 2006

If a murderer strikes a greek society,

is it fratricide?

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Testing

This should be a link to my test podcast.

Update 1: It should be 7.46 ish megabytes. And if you want to dl it, right click> save as.

Update 2: I think I got the full upload done.

Update 3: reduced the file to a 56k stereo at 3.8 megs.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Leftists Imitate the Borg

Exhibit A: A collection of mysterious deaths form a pattern of dead Bush critics.

Exhibit B: In season 6, episode 9 of Star Trek Voyager, Seven's inability to fully process all the information she's downloaded leads her to develop conflicting and bizarre conspiracy theories.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Hamas isn't just an exotic dip any more

As I've mentioned before, Hamas is actually a political party I can support. I may not agree with them on the whole "killing innocent Jewish children" plank, but the rest of their platform is solid.

At least, they're better than most of the other political groups in the Middle East, and, unlike most European and American groups, they put their money where their mouth is. They get things done without relying on a government handout. They're certainly not hypocritical anti-war protestors.

They are actually more effective than most of the volunteers who went to perform Katrina relief, then sat around because FEMA wouldn't micromanage them.

So we should all give Hamas a round of applause for their victory in the Palestine elections.

KERRY FILIBUSTERS ALITO! THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!

At least, he announced he would try to. The observant observer can immediately deduce two important facts:

1) Alito will definitely be confirmed.

2) Kerry will at some point in the future be an Alito supporter.

I understand that Kerry is playing to the base for his 2008 presidential run, but this will be a disaster for the Democrats. Hopefully, for them, the filibuster will fail and they'll look like idiots for a week. If it succeeds, the nuclear option will be invoked; they'll look like bigger idiots; the 15 open appellate court seats will be filled with constructionists this year.

Update: The first item in this BOTWT made me laugh.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Congratulations, You're my 4000th Visitor

Assuming that's what the counter says on the left column. Leave a comment to claim your reward.

Which isn't many, but if I wanted traffic I'd

1) Move to my own URL

2) get Wordpress

3) Insult the Democrats with witty but insubstantive one-liners

4) Post three times per day, at least once with something meant to anger or shock my readers

5) Pimp my URL like Jim does (just kidding) (no but seriously)

Anyway, I promise to return to my previous high quality of drivel next post. The good old days start now.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

The Adventures of ManiaC Provost - Coming Attractions

maniacprovost: i can't wait for the state of the union address
maniacprovost: it's like the National Championship of spin
Girl: lol
maniacprovost: first, the media pretends to be neutral, while all the reporters insert their own biases and try to prejudice the viewers
maniacprovost: then, the pres gets to create a dream version of america and propose crazy schemes that get ignored by february
maniacprovost: meanwhile, the GOP tries to start a standing ovation every 15 seconds
maniacprovost: and the democrats shake their heads and vamp the cameras
maniacprovost: then, Reid and Pelosi go on CNN and make asses of themselves
maniacprovost: then they'll probably interview Frist, who is also an idiot
maniacprovost: sorry
Girl: You're fine

Monday, January 16, 2006

Wow

I actually emailed my congressman in support of John Shadegg, the Republican Liberty Caucus' 'candidate' for Majority Leader.

He doesn't look like he has a chance at winning though.

Another feel-good post from Kevin

is located here.

I am optimistic about the future of our right to bear arms. To clarify "right": Even if the second amendment is a meaningless bit of filler text, as some experts proclaim, we still have a natural right to bear arms.

To clarify "optimistic": A lot of states are implementing right-to-carry laws. There's the "castle" law in Florida. The people in gun-controlled zones are being killed off faster than the rest of us by gun violence, so demographics are in our favor.

Of course, some people still want a national ban on handguns. It chaps their ass to know that a thousand miles away, people are living under their own democratic rule.

For the record, when guns are outlawed, I will still have them. In fact, I will have more. I personally have never fired anything but an SKS, M-16, SAW, and dummy grenades and rockets.. maybe a hunting rifle once. I like rifles in an abstract sense- I have one, across the country, unloaded and uncleaned. I don't have any now because I don't need any. I can defend myself with my bare hands.

That's the crux of the problem, isn't it? If guns could be eliminated, I would be able to kill nearly any woman with my bare hands, and most men depending on luck. Armed with knives? I win. Armed with rocks? I win. The only way to protect women from me and people like me is to give them guns, in the hope that they might be faster on the draw.

Firepower is power. We protect individual freedom by spreading power around, hence democracy. We create control by consolidating power in the hands of the government.

But guns kill people! Yes, and you cannot stop it. You can only make it worse.

The Dissident Frogman Returns

I'm excited. Well, he claims to be returning at any rate.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Cosmic Truth

I sometimes forget that the point of this blog is to reveal the secret nature of reality, not to rant endlessly about socialism. So, here are a few FAQs about the meaning of the universe.

Q: Why are the Democrats so stupid?

A: They are only horribly misinformed. So are you. Virtually everything you know is wrong. How can you claim intellectual superiority? Do you really believe you are "less wrong" than they are?

Q: How come bad things happen to good pe-

A: Because they use incorrect English, such as "how come." To elaborate, I am using incorrect English as a microcosm for the errors in action and perception that "good people" constantly make. Assuming an absolute moral "good," which you just conflated with pragmatic "bad," there is still no reason to assume some sort of Karmic balance of "good" and "bad." On the other hand, perhaps you have a distorted perception of what is "bad," which seems likely since you allow exterior events to affect your own sense of self worth.

Furthermore, you err in assuming you are one of the "good people."

Q: Why are we here?

A: Wherever you go, there you are. Would you expect to be anywhere else? The solipsistic view specifically denies that, as does common sense.

A more honest answer is that we are components in a process that will eventually culminate in the achievement of one of God's goals.

Q: What are God's goals?

A: How the hell would I know? Perhaps he has none, but then the universe would be superfluous and there would be no merit to answering the question correctly. Substituting a form of Pascal's overused wager, we lose nothing by assuming the existence of said goals, and so you have your answer.

Q: What makes you so damn sure about all this?

A: I have proceeded logically from a minimum number of base assumptions. It is irrelevant to assume that your logic or assumptions are wrong. While accounting for the possibility of error in practical applications is useful, assuming that your logic itself is flawed achieves nothing.

Q: You lost me. Is there any Cosmic Truth that I can use on a daily basis?

A: First, achieve tranquility through your own internal perfection. Exterior events can not destroy your tao unless you allow them to.

Second, achieve happiness by satisfying the instinctive desires for food, comfort, affection, and reproduction. You may want to study evolutionary psychology to find out how and why.

Third, look with your eyes, not with your mind. The world is a different place than you imagine it to be. This way is enlightenment.

Q: Uhhh

A: If and when I start my own philosophical sect, buy the hardcover editions of my books.

Q: Why did Johnny American stop being funny?

A: The characters and plot reached a critical mass where my specialty, one-line gags, could no longer carry the episodes.

Q: Start a new one!

A: I have other priorities in life.

Q: What are you doing here, then?

A: I'm a procrastinator.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Conservative Activism is an oxymoron

I thought of a good amendment.

"For any bill to be passed into law, a bill already in effect must be repealed."

This way, the number of laws will never increase, and Congress will have to save them for important things. Though there are loopholes, which should be closed before ratification..

Udpdate: I know it's probably not original. I just hope I didn't actually steal it from someone like Heinlein.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

It's sticky and I can't get it off

Forgive the crotchety Andy Rooney-style rambling, but I hate paperwork.

For some reason, I have the knack of ending up on the wrong side of the red tape. I'll have to get up before 10 AM for the next several months, because I didn't have authorization to go through this procedure in order to allocate a good time slot until after said time slots were taken. I spent hours today trying to get clearance to actually do this other thing, including filling out a form that they claim no longer exists.

Then, the failure to file a form by such and such date- when the forms were unavailable at the time I tried to get them- cost me about 5 grand in 2005. Because of the first problem above, which also occurred previously, I was unable to get funding to cover most of that, which resulted in financing which will be reimbursed but only through a procedure that is Goldbergian in its simplicity.

Oh, and I didn't file my taxes last year, although I filed them and paid what I owed. Apparently a Tax ID # was wrong. I'm not particularly concerned since I don't owe any money, and if push comes to shove I can probably show I had no obligation to file... regardless of the accuracy of that statement.

I still need to file the form for the second problem once I drive 30 miles to get a superfluous signiature, but then I guess I'll be done until it's time to apply...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Nothing's happening. That's good news.

This is funny.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

News You Trust

"No one has ever seen a black hole, but astronomers study the way matter and energy behave around them." - CNN.com

Really.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

The Adventures of ManiaC Provost - On the Job

Play-do: ...To pay for the sins of man, so that those who accepted what He did for us could be saved and spend eternity in Heaven.
maniacprovost: I need to flip through the gospels again
Play-do: Why, do you think that's wrong?
maniacprovost: well, it seems unlikely. and the thing is, i don't remember Jesus actually saying that
Play-do: God says that.
maniacprovost: hmm
maniacprovost: really?
Play-do: Yeah.
maniacprovost: okay, according to John 12:24, he died because that was the best way to convert people to his new religion
Play-do: Let me get my Bible... (pause) I don't thnk that's what's being said.
maniacprovost: that's the first thing i saw when i opened it
Play-do:Read the entire passage, though. From 20-35.
maniacprovost: well 26 could be interpreted as calling for mass suicide
maniacprovost: and i suppose you can interpret the wheat parable as meaning saving people from damnation, rather than converting them to christianity
Play-do: Well, that's what I was thinking. If you want to get technical, Jesus' death represents the birth of Christianity, so it's in that way (saving people) that you couild interpret it as converting to a new religion.
maniacprovost: they're the same if you look at it one way
Play-do: I know, that's what I just said.
maniacprovost: but God could just forgive everyone. i look at it another way
Christianity has controlled the course of human history for 2000 years
1700 at least
and all of that without the need for a single miracle
If you're God, and you make up all these intricate laws of physics, do you want to go around breaking them all the time? I wouldn't, so i suppose i'm a deist
Jesus' death was a necessary PR stunt that made Christianity as strong as it is
Play-do: "PR?"
maniacprovost: public relations
Play-do: But then what's the need for it, as far as entering Heaven is concerned?
maniacprovost: maybe there is none
but christianity is also an evolution in moral thinking
it's really a quantum leap from the law-based systems that existed previously
before it was, don't do this, do that, if you masturbate wash your hands
now you have to actually abide by the spirit of the law and love everyone, which leads to a better society than merely trying ot find loopholes in the law
so if God has some purpose for humanity, this evolution of moral thought must have been necessary to get there
and to spread the new ideas, he needed a proselytising religion
and to make a really catchy religion, he sent his avatar to die
3 years of walking around, a couple of stunts, and the entire evolution of the human race is changed for the rest of eternity
but that's just one interpretation