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Friday, October 21, 2005

SECRET WHITE HOUSE TRANSCRIPT!

For those of you who were wondering why Harriet Miers was nominated to the Supreme Court, this will scratch the unreachable itch of curiosity. My sources inside the government monitor many activities, and for national security reasons, some rooms of the White House are under security surveillance. There are a couple of SS guys in the basement watching a bank of monitors 24/7.

This transcript was made by one of the teams, and in the course of being passed around the intelligence community, I got ahold of it. I've reformatted it and removed the annoying timestamps and miscellaneous noises.

Laura: Could you pass the red sauce?
George?: Mm.
(pause)
Harriet: This is really good. It tastes fresh.
Laura: Well, that's the nice thing about being the president, you can get fresh seafood in Utah if you really want it.
George: Did Fernando make this?
Laura: I don't know.
Unknown voice, muffled: ... ... even... daughter.
Laura: Really? George, we should send her a card with some money in it.
George: Did he get his green card yet?
Laura: George! He's kidding. So, have you two found the next Justice yet?
Harriet: No, it's so stupid. John was really a stroke of genius. It's going to be hard to top that.
Laura: What about that, oh shoot, the DC circuit lady?
George: She drinks too much. And I would know.
Harriet: Ooh, George, you weren't supposed to tell anyone! It's hard to find anyone anonymous and qualified.
George: Well, maybe I should nominate you then.
(George and Laura laugh)
Harriet: Really???
(uncomfortable silence)
George: Well, uh, uh-
Harriet: Oh my goodness, I don't know what to say. Thank you!
Laura: Ah, Harriet-
Harriet: Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamed of sitting on the Supreme Court, making up new laws, ruling with an iron fist... I use to dress up my dolls in black washcloths and play SCOTUS on rainy days.
(Unknown voice snickers)
Harriet: Oh, George, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me! I accept your nomination!
George: Uhhhh....

That's the end of what I got. I don't know if the rest would be any more enlightening.

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