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Friday, September 16, 2005

Urgent News Update

(16 SEP 2005) - EtherMindTM News Center
American technological superiority- long endangered- may be extinct.

At least, that's what some experts think. Recent reports of terrorists wielding low-cost, cutting-edge technology have sealed the deal, they say.

Although American students have long fallen behind other industrialised nations' in math and science scores, these scores are largely the propaganda of cheese-eating surrender monkeys. The decrease in the number of Americans receiving engineering or science degrees has been chalked up to supply and demand.

Optimists say that Americans will take over management functions, putting the US population at the top of the global ladder.

However, now that the US' uneducated, cave-dwelling enemies have constructed UAVs and complex explosives, many wonder if the drunken orgy of American Consumerism may have doomed itself.

"I drive to the corner for beer almost every night," says a senator from Massachusetts who did not wish to be named. "Sure, my SUV uses a lot of gas, but it's more convenient than having the maid stock up at the grocery store."

The senator also noted the problems that could ensue if his maid were asked for ID.

Elsewhere, record numbers of students are entering business school and law school, despite federally-subsidized high costs.

"I was always interested in nuclear engineering," says Amy Wursthaul, an NAU undergrad. "But I might as well get an MBA and hire Pakistanis to do the grunt work."

Ms. Wursthaul noted that engineering is "too much work" and questioned "why [she] should give up her sexual liberation to study every [expletive] night."

Foreign students are taking up the slack in American industry. According to one student at Embry-Riddle, "Allahu Akbar! Ah lulululululululu!!!"

Ah lululu indeed.
-- Colt Crosby, Ether Mind Media

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:10 PM  
Blogger eric strauss said...

It's so disappointing to see a liberatarian minded patriot align with the right.

Don't you understand that they don't represent liberty in any sense? The most liberal democrat has never even dreamed of the kind of huge government, deficit spending malarky that the republicans currently embrace.

open your eyes. Vote liberatarian, of course, but root for the dems against the corrupt nannies that have taken over the republican party. I'll take Howard Dean over GW a thousand times over.

5:13 PM  
Blogger ManiaC Provost said...

Well, i think that the left-libertarians and right-libertarians need to coordinate more. I agree that GWB is far from the president I had hoped for.

As for the congressmen, 80% only adopt an ideology to get elected, 10% are corrupt, and the remainder are subject to the market forces of the Congress.

I do support the GOP's party line over the DNC's, however. Money is power. Weapons are power. The GOP is supposedly in favor of tax cuts and gun rights, which means power to the people. In practice, I doubt either party is really 'good' for liberty.

5:32 PM  

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