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Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Dystopia of the Day

It seems like the Christian ideal of marriage before sex is not quite being met by a small number of Americans. I can say that because 99% is a small number. 10^438 is a big number.

By the time most Americans start college, they are already past their mental peak.

The number of workers per retiree is declining.

Teenagers run amok, accomplishing nothing.

What is to be done? Well, first we phase out the socialist education system, in favor of a private system or an authoritarian communist system. Either would be better.

So here's what I would like to add to the school system to improve learning and society in general:

1) Shock collars. Nothing teaches faster than shock collars. Discipline would go way up, as would concentration and memory.

2) 9 hour school days. Hour long lunch. That still leaves time for TV and breaking stuff.

3) Year round schooling. Summer break is horrible for many reasons.

The advantage to all of this so far is that high school could be completed around age 12. There would be no need for pregnant teens to drop out. Grad students could be in their mental prime. 6 years would be added to everyone's life. GNP would increase dramatically.

All the hard work and suffering would increase the maturity and self discipline of the population, thus enabling them to marry at a historically normal age, 16 or 18. They would be self-supporting by this time. This is great, because they get to enjoy their years of highest libido.

Shock collars are fun by themselves.
Miss Jones: Johnny, spell "Chauvenist."
Johnny: C H A U V I ahhhhhh! My pacemaker!
(the class giggles)

I suppose it would increase our supply of soldiers as well, as youthful productive years are increased. There's the added bonus that the entire population would be inured to stress, pain, and exhaustion, so the quality of draftees would increase.

Vote for draconian Hard Times-like childhoods. Support Prop 420! w00t!

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