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Sunday, March 27, 2005

Panel Discussion

This partial transcript was recovered from sources inside LWNG news.

Moderator: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Nights at the Round Table. I'm Ted Undie, moderating this third part in a series of dicussions with Friedrich Nietzsche, Adam Smith, Michel d'Montagne (sp?), and Thomas Aquinas. Our topic tonight is libertarianism- its basis and viability. We'll start with Mickey this evening.

Montagne: Je ne parle pas Anglais.

Smith: Jesus H. Christ-

Nietzsche: Fool, God is dead.

Aquinas: That is folly; for as Newton showed, every action has an opposite reaction; and, as God is the prime mover of the universe, for God to have changed would require an equal change in the universe; Thus, as long as the universe exists, God must exist as well.

Nietzsche: You assume too much. You assume that the reactive force is a new force. WRONG LITTLE MAN. Do not assume. Do not ever. The reactive force which killed God is the same force with which he created the spheres.

Montagne: Non!

Moderator: Ok, can we not argue about God tonight. Freddy, didn't you argue last night that God was infinitely loving, a living God, and that every word of the Bible was literal truth.

Nietzsche: Possibly, but that was last night.

Montagne: Ne vous tenez pas sur une colline et ne raillez pas la foudre!!!

Smith: Why is he here, anyway?

Moderator: We always try to include a French viewpoint.

Smith: Why in God's name would you do that?

Nietzche: God is nameless!

Aquinas: That is true, in one sense; to name something is to define it; we can define God only by what we do not know; therefore, to truly name God is impossible.

Nietzsche: That's why I said it. Quit rambling.

Moderator: I thought God's name was Allah.

(the guests stared at Ted Undie for several minutes. commercial break goes here.)

The transcript is illegible past this point, due to charring.


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