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Thursday, March 03, 2005

Jehanne d'Arc cest l'hottie

I would post about Joan of Arc, but that news is so old it's up on CNN.com. This perticular post is about religious tolerance, and how it can help us all attain our goals.

First, to define the tems of the debate.
Suicide Bomber- someone too stupid to use a timer
Religious Fundamentalist- someone who believes what they say they believe
Terrorist- One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter- no, that's not right! Who's this Reuters fellow? I bet his blog is hilarious.
Is- we'll get back to you on that one, when we get a response from BJ Clinton.

Now, while many Christians would love to bomb abortion clinics, it rarely happens. The reality is that even if such a thing could be justified- say, by going in at night and destroying only equipment- it would be ineffective. Our industrial machine never leaves a demand unsupplied. You'll end up with a Christian in jail and a spike in insurance premiums, and that's it.

Now, we have these Muslims just dying to blow things up. They hate America, mostly because we are used as a scapegoat by the oppressive governments in the Middle East, but also because we are immoral. With all the bacon we eat, I can see why. Oh, and we also perform a million or so abortions per year. So, here's the plan:

We are all people of the book; we all have the same goal, serving the one true God. What we ought to do is import the bombers and let them do our bombing for us. I'm sure that the Dems will complain about outsourcing, but eh.

The Israelis will get a breather; the Muslims get a whole lot of virgins, which is counterintuitive seeing as how it involves a trip to an abortion clinic; the Christians get to slow down the pace of abortions; the Lefties get a decrease in the Roe effect; the fetuses get to develop into babies, instead of being dirt-deviled; and we can accomplish all of this while increasing religious tolerance!

Christians, Muslims, and Jews- someone has to finance the venture, after all- holding hands, putting aside old stereotypes to persecute the real enemy- aetheistic commies. Whoops, the ae syllable is so 19 BC. Sorry.

Later today- the top-secret Ethermind Project, revealed. Oh, and if you like the blog, tell your friends. Or, if you have no friends, tell other blog readers who fill the emotional void in your real life. Or, if you have no friends and you're a woman aged 19 to 30- nah, nevermind.

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