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Thursday, March 10, 2005

End Game

Hmm, the world's greatest chess player versus a reactionary communist. I wonder which will emerge victorious. Probably neither. Conflicts are solveable. Give Peace A Chance.

That was the After School Special portion of the post. We now return to extremist ranting:

I am not an expert on Russian domestic policy, although I did live with a professor of Russian Something who studied them. From what I gather, they smoke a lot, spit a lot, cheat a lot, and are willing to submit to authority figures. This is directly contrary to the Code of the West: pay your debts, mind your own business, don't cheat at cards, never spit in front of a lady, and emergency response times cannot be guaranteed.

Well that came out of left field. Anyway, there may be better candidates than Vlad the Imputin for Czar, but I doubt that any of them could win. The type of candidate that could beat Vlad would be one of those crazy, corrupt local barons, and that wouldn't be an improvement. Well, it could be if Vlad decides to turn Cuba into a satellite and put missles- nevermind.

So is Kasparov wasting his time criticizing Vlad? Yes. Unless Kasparov runs (which he won't do) and wins. That would be somewhat worrisome as well- it takes an experienced, um, KGB agent to keep the crazies in check. Without the skills of a, um, KGB agent, the situation could deteriorate to the levels we haven't seen since the democracy in the 90s.

If we can't trust Kasparov to run Russia better than Vlad, how can we trust him when he says Vlad should be removed? Here's a rundown of what we know.

*Kasparov is highly intelligent. Vlad is more like a senator.

*Kasparov is a strategic mastermind. Vlad's Chechnya policy is, "The beatings will continue until morale improves."

*Kasparov has no experience governing. Vlad has reversed the implosion of Russia. Of course, that makes it an explosion.

*Kasparov sees things in black and white. Vlad can't see his own reflection.

*Kasparov could out-maneuver us. Vlad could rebuild the Soviet Empire. However, the Soviet Union was unable to out-maneuver us.

*That's 2/2/0. The tiebreaker-

*Kasparov plays board games. Vlad consolidates his power with the ultimate goal of world domination. That is also the goal of many board games.

Heads wins. Kasparov '08.

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