Still Unemployed

Well, I found a job, but I went to Alaska for a week before my start date and spent 8 months in prison for a misdemeanor. There's a good chance I was guilty, but it doesn't really matter; they refused me bail and a speedy trial, so I would still be rotting there if I cared about my reputation.... I plead guilty after about 6 months. Every good anarchist should spend at least one stretch in prison for no legitimate reason.

That may not be a well-written explanation, but I shan't clarify.

So, obviously, I lost all my physical possessions and credit, except for my car and some clothes that my sister saved from my apartment after the police raid and before I was evicted. They seized all my computers in various states, but I should get most of them back.

Remember kids- if you're sitting in your home, using military grade encryption and erasure software to protect your tax records et cetera, the police can break in and call you a hacker any time they want. Sure, the "evidence" can't be used in trial- you haven't done anything that could justify a search. But it takes a year to go to trial. Some states allow you to post bail; others just laugh at you.

I've long had a set of rules for avoiding prison.

1) Don't break the law unnecessarily.
2) Don't leave physical evidence or witnesses that can make you look like anything less than a Sunday school teacher.
3) Don't talk to poor people.
4) Don't talk to repeat criminals or anyone who acts like trailer trash, even if they're not poor.
5) Never speak to anyone in a public place.
6) Don't have children.
7) Don't piss anyone off.
8) Never give the police probable cause for anything.
9) Never talk to the police.

You should also avoid living inside city limits and so forth, but really, the trick is to never attract the attention of anyone at all. I successfully did that by staying at home in front of a computer for 6 years, but I screwed up by being rude to some lady I've never met by not going out of my way to meet her. I'm not sure. Signing off.

Are You F***ing Kidding Me? Part II

"Professionals are realizing the prescribed path of a college degree leading to a lucrative job may no longer exist, as the volatile economy takes a toll on some of the soundest professions, such as banking and law." - CNN

Wh- wh- what?

It kinda goes without saying,

but I'll never buy another American vehicle. I've had 2 Fords, a Mercury (Ford), an Oldsmobile and a Chevy so far... but since they've decided to ask for tax money rather than go bankrupt, my next car will be a Toyota.

Taking welfare? Fine. Fraudulently receiving welfare? Robbing the Treasury at gunpoint? Fine.

Voting for welfare? No.

To be expected

Although my tax return implied that I would be getting an extra $300- you know, for the stimulus check I didn't get last year- I just got the deposit and it didn't include that. Oh well. I guess they denied it because I was supposed to get it last year. Including the return, I have enough for my student loan payment for this month.

I think I'll go apply for food stamps Tuesday.

Still unemployed

I just typed my situation into Google and it came up with sites telling me how to kill myself. Thanks, guys. Well, there's one thing that I would like to say to all the fifteen year olds talking about suicide on livejournal...

Life doesn't get better. Your misery is a subjective experience that comes from your beliefs about the world, not from the objective experience of the world itself. Frankly, I don't think life is worth living either, but somebody has to pay taxes to support wars and welfare queens and the restriction of our various liberties.

Not that I pay taxes. I figure if I ever find a job I can make up to 70K before I run out of ways to evade.

But yeah, I got a degree in engineering last May. Had some cash saved up from my National Guard days, so I came to Houston, where people won't stop to let you cross the road. I prefer the combination of indifference, recklessness, and genuine friendliness of Texas to the culture or lack thereof elsewhere. Plus there's no state income tax, although the state is ranked poorly in business taxation.

So I've been reading, applying to jobs, and planning for the future, but I never got depressed about it all until a day or two ago. I think I've applied to every engineering job in Houston at least once, as well as a couple of drafting/admin etc. jobs. I've made this sign that I'm going to sit outside with. Also my resume and portfolio such as it is. Trying to decide between Greenway Plaza 24 and Sugarland for my first day.

I guess I'm depressed because my current assets are less than my current liabilities now. I can slide by with my financing genius for another few months, but it's time to seriously consider selling my car. The only good car I've ever owned. With my custom stereo painstakingly wired together by me. The 12" subs and crunch amp that have followed me through thrown rods, stripped gears and TSA searches. This is the third car they've been installed in, you see. I haven't decided how to fasten them down yet... Velcro(TM) would be good, but taking them out of the tubes and putting them in the rear deck would save space.

I guess the moral of the story so far is that I have an 05 Impala for sale in Houston.

Now, I can only blame myself for not applying to more jobs. 145 in 7 months is less than one per day on average. And anyway, I could start my own business. I could program iPhone apps. I could use my vast entrepreneurial knowledge to contribute to the economic recovery, instead of passively waiting for a bite. But the fastest route to billions would have been HVAC designer.

I'll fry me some cheeseburgers. That should... do it.

The one bright spot in all this is that my fiancee lives in Alaska and my being a bum is irrelevant. Course it also means I can't marry her or see her until I find a job. Well, she says she won't leave me. If an asteroid hits DC, then we should have an economic recovery within a year and all will be well.

Is that really my plan? Hit DC with an asteroid? (bitterly) Imagine all the jobs created by the reconstruction projects.

No one's been interested in my abstract and acerbic rants on philosophy, but whining is really popular. Maybe I'll make Instapundit.

Crazy people

"But if I want to be honest with myself, I can remember plenty of times when I felt uncomfortable. And many of the earlier ones involved eating alone in the dining hall. I didn't eat by myself often, and when I did, it was usually a simple matter of conflicting schedules with my friends. But my unease sprang from my inability to convey that to the strangers around me. Honest, I'm not a loner. I had to learn to deal with the discomfort." - Neil Swidey

Is this... normal? usual? It's possible most people do eat lunch with friends or coworkers on a regular basis, but ehhhh????

Time to bend over and receive a Stimulus

The peer pressure will be too much. This monstrosity was doomed to pass from the beginning, but I was hoping it would bog down congress for a while.

I just don't see them resisting the peer pressure much longer. The GOP has already been reduced to making their own ironically bad suggestions to amend the bill. Increasing the tax credit for buying a home? Really? Because a surge in real estate prices has never caused us problems before, has it? *looks around at global financial apocalypse* Oh yeah, huh.